12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 2 of 2)
(Please read 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2 before you continue in case you have not)
- Unmask
A mask is a personality trait that you create and project to the world. Its purpose is to hide the real you. Masks are symbols of insecurity and self-doubt. They are often the result of someone’s expectations for someone else; it is generally at the expense of suppressing the real you.
“Time's glory is to calm contending kings, to unmask falsehood and bring truth to light.” - William Shakespeare
Remove the mask of someone else’s expectations and stop deceiving yourself. As long as the mask remains
- Have compassion
You must be sensitive to the needs of others and be willing to give assistance. As you progress along your success journey, you can acquire a greater sensitivity and a greater responsibility to the plight and condition of others. This human sensitivity puts you in harmony with your Creator, and elevates the quality of your own being.
All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives. - Dalai Lama
We have dominion over every living thing on the earth. Genesis
- Grow from your mistakes
No one has ever succeeded without making mistakes. I got some bruises and lots of fall off the bicycle when I was learning to ride. If you are making mistakes, at least you know that you are trying. Mistakes are life-lessons in wisdom.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein
Often, you learn more from your mistakes and failures than from your successes. You determine what works in a particular situation by learning what does not work and then trying again.
Let your mistakes, through intelligent analysis and corrective actions, become markers showing the way on your journey to improve your life. You can’t live long enough to make mistakes all by yourself. Be willing to listen and learn from the mistakes of other people.
- Acknowledge your weaknesses
Any weakness or personal shortcoming that is not acknowledged cannot be overcome. Refusing to accept your weaknesses can lead you to rationalization and self deception. You perpetuate that condition.
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses “- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Be Yourself
People who pretend to be someone or something other than themselves never discover who they really are. When you try to be someone else, you become separated from your true self, your energies are diluted and your personal magnetism is greatly diminished. When you are true to yourself, you are in harmony with yourself, with other people, and with the world around you.
I advised my 8 year old son, just be yourself at your very best all the time. He has been consistent being on the top of his class.
“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The moment you reject the growth principle of life, you accept the static principle of death. The only way to attain the good health, wealth, happiness, and prosperity you seek and deserve is to grow into these qualities and attributes. To maintain them, you must continue to grow in knowledge, understanding and consciousness.
Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. – Benjamin Franklin
Improving and developing your self-image into a positive is the best first step you can take on building the new you. It is upon your newly developed self-image that the foundation for the mansion of your dreams is built. If this foundation is based on doubt, fear, and negativity, your mansion cannot stand. But if it is built on truth, courage, compassion, self-confidence, love, and faith, your mansion stands on solid ground. It will stand forever.
“He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” – Luke 6:48
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 1 of 2)
- Be Honest with Yourself.
This is the best gift you can give to yourself. How can people trust you if you are deceiving yourself? Pretending that everything is alright is one form of self deception. You are like a gardener who pretends that there are no weeds in the garden as he busies himself planting new flowers. One day he looks up from his planting and realizes that, in spite of all his efforts, the weeds have consumed his garden. When you are dishonest with yourself you destroy the possibilities for self growth and improvement. The weeds will consume your garden.
- Develop Your Imagination
“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” – Proverbs 29:18
Your imagination is the blueprint for your future reality. It is the first step in the creative process.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” – Albert Einstein
Develop your imagination by reading stimulating material. Meet up and get involved with exciting, successful people who can expand your realm of experience. Meditate regularly and engage in artistic endeavors. See more possibilities in every experience and every relationship.
If you can think it, you can do it. If you can visualize it, you can become it.
Once your vision – the thoughts about yourself and the world – is firmly crystallize in your imagination, it cannot fail to be realized.
“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” - Jamie Paolinetti
Where your imagination leads, your reality will follow
- Be able to relax
Relaxation is the key to stress reduction, and to mental and physical regeneration. Without the ability to relax on a regular basis, you can, in over time, become victim to accumulated stress. This accumulated stress can lower your energy level, impede your judgment, and actually cause physical illness. Simple tiredness can distract your efforts and change the outcomes you experience in your endeavors.
If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. – Herodotus (484 BC – 430 BC)
- Have that winning feeling
Everyone loves a winner.
The winning feeling is a strong positive attitude of accomplishment. It is reflected in the way you talk, your handshake, walk, act and even the way you dress. People are attracted to you when you have that winning feeling. Most people are quite willing to aid and assist to aid and assist you on your path to accomplishment.
“Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.” – Vince Lomabardi
- Cultivate Good Habits
Habits are actions or behavior patterns that become automatic over time, through frequent repetition and consistency. Good habits are those which induce positive cycles of good health, proper rest, a balanced diet, regular exercise, and right thinking. By developing good habits, you establish a harmonious relationship with all that’s good for you.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle
When you strip away all other excuses and explanations, where you are right now, whatever is going on in your life, positive or negative, is a direct result of your habits.
“First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.”
- Aim to be Happy.
Expect happiness and be happy.
Expect each day to be full of happiness. Always wear that cheerful smile whenever you meet people. Approach and experience each day from a perspective of happiness. Focus on the good and positive aspects of every moment. What you focus on, through faith, will happen. When you face each day with a great sense of anticipation and expectancy, you become magnetized for the object of your expectations.
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
(Please read the last part for the 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2)
How To Build Self Esteem
How To Build Self Esteem
Most of the common causes of low self esteem can be traced at home and the environment that surrounds us. Lack of love and affection can decrease one’s self significantly. They have difficulty trusting and mixing up with people. Excessive criticism and negative remarks that are rude and vulgar can create a feeling of worthlessness, at times making them pessimistic. Physical abuse that includes sexual and mental is also a worst cause of low self esteem that normally comes from family, friends, neighbors, strangers and foster or step parents. I’m sure there are other causes of low self esteem but what I can share to you here are some of the steps you can build up your self esteem;
Here's a good definition. Self-Esteem is the experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and of being worthy of happiness. — National Council for Self-Esteem
Here are eight action steps on how to build your self-esteem;
- Always greet the people you meet with a smile. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence. I remember giving a smile to a caretaker whenever I meet her on my way to the office. She had this sad look in her face but when I gave her my smile, she responded with a nice smile too. What prompted her more to display her smile was when I greet her, “Hello, good morning”.
- Listen to inspirational audio CD programs or podcast. I’ve learned that feeding my mind with motivational and spiritual talk helped me built up my confidence, level of enthusiasm to counter on the negative environment in my work.
- Invest in your own knowledge. Enroll in a seminar class in some aspect of professional or personal development. These events or activities will help develop your skills, depending on your interest like communication, technical, self development, dance, singing, etc. It will also help grow the network of your friends and develop inter-relationship among like minded individuals. One good resource is meetup group like Personal Excellence and Growth Group, Cashflow 101 Game Singapore Group where I learned to develop skills and build relationships too. By the way, I highly recommend that you join a spiritual community.
- Always say “Thank You” When you are given any compliment by anyone, for any reason. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem, says Denis Waitley, personal growth expert and author of many books, including "The Psychology of Winning" (one of my favorites).
- Find someone already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Look for successful “role models” that you can pattern yourself after. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from their experience.
- Don’t brag! People who brag about their own exploits or those who demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in eyes of others since they don’t perceive themselves as worthy of respect.
- When you make a mistake or get rejected, look at mistakes as a learning experiences. After rejection, take a look at your BAG – Blessings, Accomplishments, and Goals. Take a look at rejection as an event, not as a turndown of the performer.
- Act as if you already have the habit or behavior you desire. If you were confident, how would you feel? What would you be thinking? With practice, your behavior becomes a habit.
I'm sure there are other steps that can build up your self esteem. Once you gained the self confidence, learn to be humble not arrogant. As Zig Ziglar says, " The greatest single cause of a poor self-image is the absence of unconditional love." Always carry with you the secret: “ Love must be within us before it can be given.”
The Power of Self Belief-6 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence
The Power of Self Belief – 6 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence
”I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me” – Philippians 4:13
I want to share a little bit of my story about how I managed to develop the power of self belief. When I started working here in Singapore as a CAD Engineer coming from my home country, the Philippines, I encountered lots of challenges at work. I was actually hired because of my excellent skills in using 3D mechanical modeling software even though I had no background in marine engineering or naval architecture field.
So one time I was task to do a 2D structural engineering layout that does not require me to use the 3D CAD (Computer Aided Drafting) tool. I used different drafting software that I have less experienced with. I had to do an offshore mechanical structural layout that I was not familiar with. And as expected, I received corrections after corrections about what I have done in creating my 2D engineering layout. You can imagine how colorful my A3 sized print outs due to corrections. Here’s the sad part, the senior colleague(s) who reviewed my drawing doesn’t bother to teach me about the way to improve or speed up the process of learning the skills even when I asked them. All they can tell is how slow I am and all the negative stuffs. At that point I had two choices, whether to equate them with harsh words so that I can bring my ego back or just simply go back to my table and do what I need to do. I chose the later since I was relatively new to the company and Singapore, so I don’t want to risk my job.
Here’s how I exactly responded that changed the way I looked at things and my attitude. Instead of bursting out the fire against them, I psyched myself up while performing my task. I kept on telling in my mind, “I am the best in what I am doing! I am the fastest in performing this task!” I repeat the phrase “I am the best!” with high emotions all over and over again while I was doing the corrections. I practiced these affirmations every time I worked on my projects. It was just a matter of time when I came for another review process when the senior colleague told me,” Whoa, you’re so fast huh!” I gave him a smile and from then on, I managed to develop my skills and most especially my attitude. My self esteem went high.
By the way, I want to share with you a success story video presented to our company by our supplier, Innocom Technologies Pte. Ltd. Please check it out.
Here are some 6 rules that will help you build up your self confidence:
- Create a mental picture of yourself succeeding. Hold on to this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind always tries to complete whatever it pictures so, always picture success no matter how badly things seemed to be going at the moment. Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal powers come into mind, deliberately voice out a positive thought to cancel it out.
- Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Minimize them instead. Problems should be seen for what they are and never inflated by fearful thoughts. You are bigger than your problems.
- Do not be awestruck by other people or try to copy them. Remember that most people despite a confident appearance are often as scared and as doubtful of themselves as you are.
- Get a confident counselor to help you understand the origin of your inferiority or self doubt feelings. This often begins in childhood. Self knowledge leads to a cure.
- Ten times each day practice the following affirmation. Repeating it out loud if possible. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This magic statement is the most powerful antidote on earth to inferiority feelings.
- Put yourself in God’s hands. To do this you simply say “I am in God’s hands” then believe that you are now receiving all the power you need. Affirm that the kingdom of God is within you in the form of adequate power to meet all of life’s demands. Remind yourself that God is with you and nothing can defeat Him.
I encouraged you to read the book, “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale and “The Psychology of Achievement” by Brian Tracy. I took Brian Tracy’s advice to look in front of the mirror and tell out loud “I like myself” over and over again. It worked for me and I’m sure it will work for you as well. Try it and share with me your success.
PS
Please check out previous article on Persuasive Communication – The Art of Moving People Through To Action. I shared my experience on self belief in front of an audience.
PS2
Please listen to Chapter 1 of The Power of Positive Thinking below.
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