July 30th, 2010

How to Coach Yourself to Success-5 powerful questions to ask yourself

Posted by jerome

How to Coach Yourself to Success – 5 powerful questions to ask yourself

Coaching yourself to success is a very powerful tool that you can use to move yourself towards the direction where you want to be. Last night, was another awesome session with Personal Excellence and Growth meetup led by these successful couple of coaches Mr. Patrick Yc Lim and Ms. Jessica See.

First we need to define what does success means to you? Many of us shared their own definition such as a balance of work and life, well spend time with the family, doing what you love to do (your passion) and so on. I just want to share a great quote from Henry David Thoreau he said, “One advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

There at least 5 steps of questions you need to ask yourself :

1. Where are you now? What exactly do you have? There was actually a story about a man who had nothing left except what he had inside the red bandana. Several years have passed, he became a very successful businessman. So someone asked what was inside the red bandana, then he told that it contained a large sum of money, stocks, and bonds. For some of us it may not necessarily be money but it can be your attitude, skills, talents, and your network of friends or contacts. This reminds me of a great quote by Socrates about knowing thyself. You need to know your strengths. So I ask Jessica, how can we know our strengths? She highly recommended to invest a book entitled, StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath. What made this book so compelling was, you will be given a unique access code so that you can take an online test. The test will give you an idea about your strengths and how you can manage them.

2. Where do you want to be? You need to be very clear and specific on where you want to be. You just can’t say I want to have more money or I want to have a successful career. How much money exactly do you need and what exact date do you intend to have it? What exactly are you doing by that time? How do you see yourself in the morning? You need to have a clear picture along with your five senses. What is the color, the smell of the environment, the touch of that house? Be as detailed as possible. An example that was shared was about a vision board that a friend had made from a cutout of pictures. It was actually them same picture of a house where she currently lived. This reminds me of the movie “The Secret” about John Assaraf’s vision board of about a picture of a mansion house he made some years ago and later discovered after his son accidentally asked him about what was inside the box. At that time, he cried upon seeing the vision board as he was already living on that dream.

Along with this there are eight areas of life that anyone can build around with:

1. Religion

2. Health

3. Character Building

4. Career

5. Relationship

6. Development of other talents. It can be your hobbies. Things that you enjoy doing or you like to do.

7. Money

8. Contribution to the world

Someone suggested that it is also important to include recreation and also a time with yourself such as to hang around with friends.

3. What can stop you? What are the possible detours? List down all the deterrents that you feel will hinder in your goals. It can be your relationship. One of the major challenges could be your loved ones. It could be your low self-esteem, or it could be your limiting beliefs that you were not good enough. You need to ask below the surface question. Don’t you think you need to hire a coach to guide you?

4. Who can help you? Who are in your circle of friends? Do you seek outside of your circle of friends by joining group meetups, a social community or spiritual community? Bear in mind that if you don’t ask, you will not get. A good tip is to create a leverage on each other strengths. You can ask help from an expert in exchange for your expertise or your main strengths or could be any resource that you can share. Remember the Holy Scripture,” So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10 NIV)

5. Who can you help? One of my favorite quotes came from Zig Ziglar is “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help other people get what they want”. You can offer your services for free even without asking any favor. Just get the habit of sharing ideas or giving away great value that can benefit other people.

It is always a great idea to chunk down your big goals into smaller activity goals. This will take time but being consistent and persistent will move you towards your direction.