How Do You Deal with Bully or Bullies in School?
being bullied at school
Have you ever experienced being bullied around in your early years at school?
How did you deal with bullies?
Or, Are you the one playing as a bully?
Yesterday, me and my wife had a conversation over skype about our son’s experience in school of being bullied by his classmate. She told me that two weeks ago, Jed (my son) got some bruised over his upper leg and last week, a wound in his lower right eye.
First, I asked her if she reported this to the teacher? Yes, she told the head teacher and they did inform the parents of the bully. They told us that the boy had some attitude problem.
Now, here’s the meat part, what if the bully will repeat the thing that he liked to do? I mean what if he hurt my son again physically? I told my wife that we should set boundaries about self respect and teach him about self-confidence. I insisted that we can not tolerate this from happening again as well as to other inferior kids as well. I told my son that he needs to defend himself and teach the bully a lesson, a dose of his own medicine. If he hurt you again, hurt him with greater pain, i told my son. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not teaching my son to become violent or become bully as well. I told him that being a bully is bad and so that he (the bully) will not do it again. He should defend other inferior classmates or friends (victims) if ever he’ll witnessed an event. This is not just physical will but more importantly mental, about self esteem.
Here’s another tip, create a buddy system or a need to hang-out with like minded friends and develop a relationship around your circle of friends. Share ideas among your friends and make an offer of help among them in times of trouble.
It will be wise to enrol your child to a self-defense sport like martial arts. This competitive sport will develop one’s self confidence and of course you’ll have a physically healthy child. Now, this gives us an idea to continue what Jed had started in his summer two years ago.
What if you’re child is the bully? That’s tough for me to share. Let’s just put ourselves in their shoes as to why are they doing this? It could be they want to win more friends? They want some recognition and attention? They want to become popular? Whatever their reasons are, I don’t think they are making sense since bullying is totally wrong. I believe that they need more help and the role of the parents play a vital role in molding their child in becoming what they should be. There should be no excuse for this as the responsibility as a parents is very important. If they need help, they shoud seek advise from an expert, a family counselor, their parents, friends, teachers. The Internet is great cool resource as you can join forums from different parts of the world. Check my previous article, I strongly suggest that you create your own Family Mission Statement.
Lastly, my take is please stop bullying. Its not worth of your time and energy.
stop-bullying
P.S.
I would love to hear your experience about bullying.
Poke him in the eye! And kick him in the balls!
That should test the bully a lesson!
Then beat him up, until he cries!
Always works with me, when I was still in elementary…. hahaaha!
mel, looks like you’re the bully…(just kidding)
Bully students will always be around…with my experience to my students from years 1-10, it has always helped that the one being bullied be with a circle of friends (doesn’t matter if they’re only 2 as long as he is not alone) especially at breaks or recess… so that there will always be someone to witness “who did what to who” –
the school should not encourage this no matter what the reason is, be it an attitude problem, or etc. they should have a sanction to the bully student – normally starts with a MISDEMEANOR, then DETENTION – where the bully spends his break, recess with a certain teacher or administrator in charge, then if it is repeated, should be given an IMMEDIATE TIME OUT or a SUSPENSION – one other sanction our school gives is taking away from the bully student his freedom to play for example “soccer or his fav’rite sport” during recess. –
we had lots of really mean bullies in the school, but with the help of the CODE OF CONDUCT – the bullies mellowed down, and SOME have really changed – not because they wanted to, they were forced to otherwise theyll be kicked out of the school. Physical injury should immediately have a sanction to the bully student -
You might want to ask again for their copy of CODE of CONDUCT in the school –
sometimes fighting back, is an advantage so the bully will think that he can’t just beat anybody around,
although (your son) should keep your reminders with him at all times…
I had an experience where one student who was always being bullied, fought back and both the bully and the non-bully student ended up being suspended together for 2 days..
the school(including the teachers) should play the biggest part in here in terms of their policies plus the parents of the bully student -who should support the schools’ policies by monitoring their child
…hope this helps you a little
Hi Tina,
Thanks a lot for sharing your valuable experience about this subject.
I truly believe that parents will play the biggest part of disciplining our children to become the best person they will be. Let’s continue to make a difference in our society.
all the best,
Jerome