Family Values worth fighting for
Family Values worth fighting for – Lessons Learned
Last December 2011 has been a special moment for me not only did I spend quality time with my loved ones but it reinforced my values that I am willing to fight for. It gave me a chance to reconnect with my relatives from my father side – cousins with their families, nephews, uncle, and aunt. It was fun and unforgettable since it was the first time that we organized a formal event. After the successful event, our father had to gather us for family meeting and this turned out to be the exact opposite of the fun event that we experienced earlier. I can’t give you much specific details here for confidentiality. It gave me a deeper look about my beliefs and values that I am willing to fight for. It helped me understand why he was not present in the event. I love my father but I hate his excuses and blaming attitude. I am sure I will never be liked him. To be fair, he brought us (his 4 children) up just like a normal father will do to his children, worked hard to meet our basic needs – food, clothes, shelter and education. If I asked myself, was there an event in my life as a child that was worth to remember of a father and son bonding moments. As for my mother, well yes, there were lots of unforgettable moments. I tried to recall for quite a while when I was a child but I hardly remember of any cherished moment about my father. I have no intentions to demean my father, I am grateful for bringing me into this world with my mother.
This experience gave me a perspective about what I can become as a father to my son and a husband to my wife. Here are some values that I am willing to fight for;
1. Responsibility – this will be challenging but I will try my best to take 100% responsibility of my actions. I will try my best not to be in the finger pointing department. I will not make excuses nor blame other people for the mistakes or failures of my actions.
2. Forgiveness – Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB), For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. I believe our ego and pride will stop us from deepening our relationship with our fellow human being. This is tough and I must admit I have my ego too and I am still in the process of learning how to handle. Awareness is the key and being able to admit your mistakes will help you ease the pain. I’ve learned that “letting go and letting God” will help me get through the healing process. This is a very important value after our last family meeting and it gave me a different view based from my father's experience. He was unforgiving and I can't say much. I still hope and pray for his change of heart someday.
3. Trust – this sums up all the other values and if you don’t have trust, the other values don’t matter much. As Brian Tracy said,” Trust is the glue that holds all relationships together – including the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.”
I must admit that these are not easy tasks but I am willing to learn the process of becoming the person I intended to be.
I am grateful to my father because he gave me a perspective about what I can become as a person. A choice of what I want to be and I don’t want to be. I am most grateful to my mother for influencing my faith in God and her undying love to her children.
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