20 July 2009

Family Mission Statement

Finally, I got the chance to write about this topic on Family Mission Statement. I remember just a few months ago at a our household of CFC FFL (Couples For Christ Foundation for Family and Life) here in Singapore,  I made a challenge to everyone to create a Family Mission Statement. We had a good learning discussion at that time about the challenges and the practices of day to day family life like disciplining the children,  effective study practices for school, husband and wife relationship such as  self-esteem, daily good and bad  habits, and a lot more.  Family Mission Statement will definitely keep you on track about your family values and principles. So if most of the companies that we worked with have mission-vision statements, why not apply to our family as this is the basic foundation of the society.

My reference for this discussion is ,  How To Develop Your Mission Statement by Dr. Stephen Covey bestselling author also of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He used one of the habits, Begin with the End in Mind. You need first to create in your  mind where you want to go then create it in physical reality. You need to involve everyone in your family, children and even grandparents. This could be done in your family room, dining room or any convenient place of your home.

There are 3 steps to develop a Family Mission Statement;

First,  Explore what your family is all about –  you can ask a series of questions as to what governing values you wish to live  by as a family.

Second, Write your Family Mission Statement

Third,  Stay on Course.

Explore what your family is all about. Think deeply and discuss this with your loved ones. Some guidelines for you to start with, ask

1. What is the Purpose of your family?

2. What values do you want your Family to live by?

3. What is your Family all about?

4. What kind of Family do you want?

5. What kind of home do you want when you invite your friends and guest to?

6. What embarasses you at home?

7. What makes you comfortable at home?

8. for your children, you can ask them, What makes you feel drawn to us (parents) so that you are open to our influence  and us to your influence?

9. for newly married couple, you can ask, What is the purpose of our Marriage? What’s the essential reason for our being? What is our high priority Goals?

Well this might be of a challenge to you so there are 3 ground rules of discussion.

1. Only one family member speaks at a time and everyone else listens to that family member with deep respect.

2. This is more challenging but enormously powerful.  Whenever there is a kind of disagreements, Simply agree that no one can make their point until  they restate the last person’s point to his or her satisfaction. This keeps people from judging each other. Instead they get them to thinking within the frame of reference of the other person. An example, Let me see if I can repeat what you’re saying. If the other person say yes, thats what I’m trying to say, I feel understood. Then it’s the next family member’s turn to speak and to have that also respected and impactedly listened to. This way you can avoid disagreements or attacking the person and so forth. When people communicate in this manner it brings out the best in every person’s belief.

3.  Simply write it down or record it. Some one should write down the thoughts expressed by the family member. Writing crystalizes thinking , instills meaning,  and bridges the gap between the conscious and the unconscious.

Now I also challenged you to include this task in your to do list. You don’t need to get it right the first time, you just need to get started and plan your course.  Share me your experiences after sometime.

Remember, Stay on target!  Stay on target!  Stay on target!