Post from: Jerome Castañeda

The Value of Personal Development

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No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what GOD has prepared for those who love HIM.

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Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Christian Life Seminar Singapore 2012

Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams

We had another great night for Personal Excellence and Growth meetup about the topic “Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams”. Incidentally, while on my way to the event place, I managed to pass along a bookshop selling second hand books besides the National Library Building. Wow, I found gold bars; I mean I bought two (2) books – Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams (hardbound) by Steven K. Scott and Getting Things Done by David Allen just for five (5) Singapore dollars in total. What a great deal considering the books still looked new?

Mr. Patrick Yc Lim, event organizer and speaker, shared a story of Edmund Hillary, as being the first person together with a Sherpa mountaineer to reach the summit of Mount Everest. A handout of his story was given to us and you too can get the article at Edmund Hillary story.

Patrick gave us an exercise and he laid down sets of 3D stickers of animals and insects such as whales, butterflies, dragonflies, bugs, etc. We were asked to pick one animal or insect and explained the reasons of our choice. I chose dolphin because it symbolized adventure, freedom and fun. It represents harmony with others with its strong communication skills. Dolphins easily adapt to a community and can be trustworthy.

The exercise taught us about life of making choices. Why did we choose and why we didn’t choose the other options. What were our motives in the selection process?

In life, we need to ask a question in making a choice. Is this activity will help me in moving towards my dreams and goals? Here’s a great guide that will help you in going the direction of your goals. Get a blank sheet of paper. Draw a horizontal line across the middle of the paper. Above the line, draw an upward arrow and write down Responsibility.  Below the line is a downward arrow indicating blame, excuses, justify.

Your ability to respond is the key to every decision you take. Responsibility is about taking ownership of your choices. Their motto is: “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” When you do that, then you’re living above the line. The opposite is when you start the blame game. You blame the government, your parents or your friends from the poor results you made. You make an excuse about the traffic situation for coming late in a meeting. Others justify that they can’t become wealthy because they don’t have the right education. Did you notice any commonality among these? They are all telling a story, mostly of BS and full of crap. Be very careful with people who practiced this kind of behavior. Simply walk away from this kind of crowd.

Let us dig deeper and have a look about the input and output realities of our decision. What are the things needed to change our desired outcome. What determines an outcome is our behavior. It refers to the way a person behaves towards other people or other circumstances or events. A good motto is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” The behavior of a person is identified with an attitude. Our attitude determines what we see and how we handle our feelings. Say, if people think that smoking is bad for their health, then, they will quit. What determines an attitude is how you believe in yourself. Beliefs are the assumptions we create about ourselves. The clearer you are about what you believe and value, the happier and more effective you will be. A good sample of a belief system, success is not what you know; success is what you do with what you know. Most of our limitations we face in life are self imposed and created from our environment. Our thinking habits are generated from our parents, school, friends, and colleagues. The way we think is like computer software and we can reprogram the input. We can achieve this by reading books and learning from highly successful people. We see things in a different perspective.

Our choices will lead us to our desired goals if we follow the simple discipline of success. On the other hand, we drift away from our goals if we take the simple errors in judgment of failure.

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams

12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 2 of 2)

(Please read 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2 before you continue in case you have not)

7.  Unmask

A mask is a personality trait that you create and project to the world. Its purpose is to hide the real you. Masks are symbols of insecurity and self-doubt. They are often the result of someone’s expectations for someone else; it is generally at the expense of suppressing the real you.

“Time's glory is to calm contending kings, to unmask falsehood and bring truth to light.” - William Shakespeare

Remove the mask of someone else’s expectations and stop deceiving yourself. As long as the mask remains

8. Have compassion

You must be sensitive to the needs of others and be willing to give assistance.  As you progress along your success journey, you can acquire a greater sensitivity and a greater responsibility to the plight and condition of others. This human sensitivity puts you in harmony with your Creator, and elevates the quality of your own being.

All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives. - Dalai Lama

We have dominion over every living thing on the earth. Genesis 1:28 tells “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”  This godlike dominion implies that it is our duty to be sensitive to and respond to the needs of others. This does not just apply to human beings, but to all things which live upon the earth. So, you must have compassion for, and be sensitive to the plight and needs of all living things – people, animals, plants, and the environment.

9. Grow from your mistakes

No one has ever succeeded without making mistakes. I got some bruises and lots of fall off the bicycle when I was learning to ride. If you are making mistakes, at least you know that you are trying. Mistakes are life-lessons in wisdom.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein

Often, you learn more from your mistakes and failures than from your successes. You determine what works in a particular situation by learning what does not work and then trying again.

Let your mistakes, through intelligent analysis and corrective actions, become markers showing the way on your journey to improve your life. You can’t live long enough to make mistakes all by yourself. Be willing to listen and learn from the mistakes of other people.

10. Acknowledge your weaknesses

Any weakness or personal shortcoming that is not acknowledged cannot be overcome. Refusing to accept your weaknesses can lead you to rationalization and self deception. You perpetuate that condition.

“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses “-    Ralph Waldo Emerson

11. Be Yourself

People who pretend to be someone or something other than themselves never discover who they really are. When you try to be someone else, you become separated from your true self, your energies are diluted and your personal magnetism is greatly diminished. When you are true to yourself, you are in harmony with yourself, with other people, and with the world around you.

I advised my 8 year old son, just be yourself at your very best all the time. He has been consistent being on the top of his class.

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” -  Ralph Waldo Emerson

12.  Never stop growing

The moment you reject the growth principle of life, you accept the static principle of death. The only way to attain the good health, wealth, happiness, and prosperity you seek and deserve is to grow into these qualities and attributes. To maintain them, you must continue to grow in knowledge, understanding and consciousness.

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. – Benjamin Franklin

Improving and developing your self-image into a positive is the best first step you can take on building the new you. It is upon your newly developed self-image that the foundation for the mansion of your dreams is built. If this foundation is based on doubt, fear, and negativity, your mansion cannot stand. But if it is built on truth, courage, compassion, self-confidence, love, and faith, your mansion stands on solid ground. It will stand forever.

“He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” – Luke 6:48

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2

12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 1 of 2)

1. Be Honest with Yourself.

This is the best gift you can give to yourself.  How can people trust you if you are deceiving yourself? Pretending that everything is alright is one form of self deception. You are like a gardener who pretends that there are no weeds in the garden as he busies himself planting new flowers. One day he looks up from his planting and realizes that, in spite of all his efforts, the weeds have consumed his garden. When you are dishonest with yourself you destroy the possibilities for self growth and improvement. The weeds will consume your garden.

2. Develop Your Imagination

“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” – Proverbs 29:18

Your imagination is the blueprint for your future reality. It is the first step in the creative process.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” – Albert Einstein

Develop your imagination by reading stimulating material. Meet up and get involved with exciting, successful people who can expand your realm of experience. Meditate regularly and engage in artistic endeavors. See more possibilities in every experience and every relationship.

If you can think it, you can do it. If you can visualize it, you can become it.

Once your vision – the thoughts about yourself and the world – is firmly crystallize in your imagination, it cannot fail to be realized.

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -  Jamie Paolinetti

Where your imagination leads, your reality will follow

3. Be able to relax

Relaxation is the key to stress reduction, and to mental and physical regeneration. Without the ability to relax on a regular basis, you can, in over time, become victim to accumulated stress. This accumulated stress can lower your energy level, impede your judgment, and actually cause physical illness. Simple tiredness can distract your efforts and change the outcomes you experience in your endeavors.

If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. – Herodotus (484 BC – 430 BC)

4.  Have that winning feeling

Everyone loves a winner.

The winning feeling is a strong positive attitude of accomplishment. It is reflected in the way you talk, your handshake, walk, act and even the way you dress. People are attracted to you when you have that winning feeling. Most people are quite willing to aid and assist to aid and assist you on your path to accomplishment.

“Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.” – Vince Lomabardi

5. Cultivate Good Habits

Habits are actions or behavior patterns that become automatic over time, through frequent repetition and consistency. Good habits are those which induce positive cycles of good health, proper rest, a balanced diet, regular exercise, and right thinking. By developing good habits, you establish a harmonious relationship with all that’s good for you.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle

When you strip away all other excuses and explanations, where you are right now, whatever is going on in your life, positive or negative, is a direct result of your habits.

“First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.”

6. Aim to be Happy.

Expect happiness and be happy.

Expect each day to be full of happiness. Always wear that cheerful smile whenever you meet people. Approach and experience each day from a perspective of happiness. Focus on the good and positive aspects of every moment. What you focus on, through faith, will happen. When you face each day with a great sense of anticipation and expectancy, you become magnetized for the object of your expectations.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

(Please read the last part for the 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2)

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2

SHORT PRAYER AFTER WORK

Lord, as we now end our day’s work, we pray and thank you for this very wonderful day.

Thank you for having given us the patience and industry to work well, and for having directed our thoughts, words, and actions.

Forgive us Lord, for our misgiving as we forgive those who wronged us. Continue to give us wisdom to do good for others and for ourselves.

Lord, please continue to bless us, also our families tonight, and bring us together again tomorrow as we start another day.

All these things, Lord, we humbly pray in the name of your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Please see related topic – Short Prayer Before Work

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Short Prayer After Work

1. Direction – Before I just let the days passed by, but now I make sure to learn from the day. I’ve learned how to set goals and priorities in life to distinguish minor and major activities. It helped my personal responsibility to take charge of myself instead of engaging in petty discussion about whining, blaming, and excuses.
2. Self-esteem – I’ve learned to love myself and feel good about myself. It gave me a sense of confidence to achieve things that I set my mind to. This is where I learned to shape my values, beliefs and philosophies.
3. Association – it helped me connect to like minded positive people. The law of attraction really works as I was able to meet highly successful businessmen, entrepreneurs, best selling authors, and life coaches both offline and online. My attitude is greatly shaped from the influence and association of people with high levels of discipline and values. Get around people who have something of value to share with you.
4. Relationship – Aside from a better relationship with myself, my relationship with my family and friends dramatically improved. I’ve been always consistent to say “I love you” to my wife and my son. You see, if I improved myself ten times, imagined how much will it affect my family and friends. It was so inspiring to hear from friends that I was able to help them with their lives. I tend to listen and be more interested than talking a lot.
5. Discipline – I must say that this word bridges the gap between goals and accomplishment. A good example is a practice of a healthy lifestyle. I developed a conscious thought about the food that I eat, or a regular jog around the block, or an aerobic exercise in my room.
6. Spiritual – Most of the personal development or motivational experts that I listened or read to, have a strong faith in God. They even used the bible in their teachings. What more, joining a religious community even increased my faith further.
7. Integrity – I am still a learner in this field yet it is the most important of all values. Trust is based on integrity and being able to keep my word is a precious value. It holds all relationships together. Being open about one’s life leads to a trust based relationship. 

I believe everyone should learn and practice personal development, our world will be of less chaos. 

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Why Personal Development Blog?

A New Headstart for the New Year! This is the topic of Personal Excellence and Growth meetup last January 2011 organized by the dynamic couple, Mr. Patrick Yc Lim and Ms. Jessica See.

Success purely depends on the choices we make in life. There are two choices that we can decide to do.

1. Simple Disciplines – these are small steps of action you take that will lead you closer to your goals. Some good examples are choosing to eat less carbohydrates or sweets in a day, reading a book 30 minutes a day, or a simple exercise 15 minutes a day. A few simple disciplines practiced everyday is the key formula for success. All disciplines affect each other since one discipline always lead to another discipline.

2. Simple Errors in Judgment – these are things that you do that will drift you further away from your goals. This is the opposite of simple discipline, the lack of discipline. A surefire formula of failure is a few errors in judgment repeated everyday.

First, let us define what is discipline. It means training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement. It also mean a: control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior or c: self-control

I remember a colleague who was on a diet plan. She told me she's not taking her lunch because she was on a diet. So everyday she was consistent on skipping her meal for a diet. Not until I saw her during an afternoon break, she was eating chocolate like a child. There was another colleague who was also on a diet by just eating few apples instead of the normal rice and meat meal. After more than a month, he was back to his comfort level of eating food. Here's another classic story that I've been hearing from most people I've talked to, I asked"Hey why are you eating that food (high cholesterol)? Most of the response sync each other, "Just once in a while (until it became once is a month or once in a week) and besides I am still young. " We've been living in the world of instant gratification against temporary inconvenience. These are deliberate acts of errors in judgment or simply the lack of discipline.

Here's a question worth pondering, how can we change the errors in judgment formula for failure into simple disciplines required in the formula of success? The answer is by making the future an important part of our philosophy and value system.

"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." – Jim Rohn

You got to live above the line. People who live below the line are fond of always blaming, making excuses and justifying their own failure or lack of success. People who live above the line are those who take responsibility of their own actions, whether it's a failure or success.

The results are almost immediate once you practiced a few simple disciplines everyday. Reading a book for 30 minutes to an hour a day had brought me positive results. It helped me refine my philosophies, increase my self esteem, improved my relationship by being a better father, husband and a friend. Whatever new discipline we begin to practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to become better at developing new disciplines.

Here' a classic Jim Rohn seminar about Formula for Success and Failure

PS

If you’re looking for an environment of positive and personal development in your life then Personal Excellence and Growth meetup is place that will help you become the person you want to be. Its free of charge, no obligation. Bring your pen and paper to capture ideas for personal development.

Please read related articles.

How to Coach Yourself to Success

Achieving Your Goals and Dreams

Persuasive Communication – the Art of moving people through to action

Personal Branding, the PURPLE CAT way

Finding Your Passion!

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Personal Excellence and Growth – Success and Failure Formula

How To Build Self Esteem

Most of the common causes of low self esteem can be traced at home and the environment that surrounds us.  Lack of love and affection can decrease one’s self significantly. They have difficulty trusting and mixing up with people. Excessive criticism and negative remarks that are rude and vulgar can create a feeling of worthlessness, at times making them pessimistic. Physical abuse that includes sexual and mental is also a worst cause of low self esteem that normally comes from family, friends, neighbors, strangers and foster or step parents. I’m sure there are other causes of low self esteem but what I can share to you here are some of the steps you can build up your self esteem;

Here's a good definition. Self-Esteem is the experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and of being worthy of happiness. —  National Council for Self-Esteem

Here are eight action steps on how to build your self-esteem;

1. Always greet the people you meet with a smile. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence. I remember giving a smile to a caretaker whenever I meet her on my way to the office. She had this sad look  in her face but when I gave her my smile, she responded with a nice smile too. What prompted her more to display her smile was when I greet her, “Hello, good morning”.
2. Listen to inspirational audio CD programs or podcast. I’ve learned that feeding my mind with motivational and spiritual talk helped me built up my confidence, level of enthusiasm to counter on the negative environment in my work.
3. Invest in your own knowledge. Enroll in a seminar class in some aspect of professional or personal development. These events or activities will help develop your skills, depending on your interest like communication, technical, self development, dance, singing, etc. It will also help grow the network of your friends and develop inter-relationship among like minded individuals. One good resource is meetup group like Personal Excellence and Growth Group, Cashflow 101 Game Singapore Group where I learned to develop skills and build relationships too. By the way, I highly recommend that you join a spiritual community.
4. Always say “Thank You” When you are given any compliment by anyone, for any reason. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem, says Denis Waitley, personal growth expert and author of many books, including "The Psychology of Winning" (one of my favorites).
5. Find someone already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Look for successful “role models” that you can pattern yourself after. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from their experience.
6. Don’t brag! People who brag about their own exploits or those who demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in eyes of others since they don’t perceive themselves as worthy of respect.
7. When you make a mistake or get rejected, look at mistakes as a learning experiences.  After rejection, take a look at your BAG – Blessings, Accomplishments, and Goals. Take a look at rejection as an event, not as a turndown of the performer.
8. Act as if you already have the habit or behavior you desire. If you were confident, how would you feel? What would you be thinking? With practice, your behavior becomes a habit.

I'm sure there are other steps that can build up your self esteem. Once you gained the self confidence, learn to be humble not arrogant. As Zig Ziglar says, " The greatest single cause of a poor self-image is the absence of unconditional love." Always carry with you the secret: “ Love must be within us before it can be given.”

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

How To Build Self Esteem

StrengthsFinder2.0 book by Tom Rath

Strengths Finder 2.0 book by Tom Rath is an online assessment test that will identify your top 5 strengths out of the 34 dominant “themes” of talents. The research was based on Gallup’s 40 year study of human strengths that lead to the creation of Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment.  The book was originally based from Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D., who was cited by the American Society of Psychology as the Father of Strengths Psychology and the Grandfather of Positive Psychology.

I took the StrenghtsFinder assessment test online and it took me around 45 minutes. By the way, you need a unique access code which you can find at the back of the book and is valid for one user only. I am sure you can purchase the code online instead of buying the book. If you have plans to take the test, be sure to answer the questions whatever comes first in your mind. Just be true to yourself instead of taking time to think what the best answer is. Anyway, every item number has time limit so it pressures you to answer naturally. I’m sharing you the results of my test and my top strengths are learner, maximizer, activator, responsibility and focus. You can see more information at Jerome’s Strengths.

strengthsfinder unique access code

The main essence of the book is to help find and develop our strengths instead of our weaknesses. This approach is the very opposite to the system where I grew up, in school and at home. Back in our school days, every time a report card was given to us, guess what our parents were looking for? Yes, those numbers that have the lowest score. We spent lots of time studying on our weakest subject(s). This is also very evident in most of the companies. Most of my previous employers, including my present, reprimand their employees for their mistakes more than their contributions and results. Even worst are colleagues, senior colleagues or managers who have passion for pinpointing mistakes.   Most people can easily spot on the weaknesses of their friends or colleagues. Sad to say, this habit can become their strengths zone of spotting weaknesses.  We really can’t blame them since we are all part of the conspiracy of the system. That is why most of us end up performing on a mediocre level or performing our very best that is way off our strength zones.

Here’s an audio snippet on Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham. Please click on the play button below.

Here are some strength quotes I like to share;

Please also read similar post on How Full is Your Bucket? Another recommended book by Tom Rath.

Post from: Jerome Castañeda

Strengths Finder 2.0 Review