The Value of Personal Development
The Value of Personal Development
It has been four years since I committed myself seriously to personal development. It is my desire to keep growing and learning until the day I die, not only for my own benefit, but for the benefit of others.
Last year during my vacation, I had a chance to witness the effect I had to my son, Justin Daniel. In a conversation with my wife, she shared how curious was his teacher about our son’s behavior and why he always excel in their Values subject. She was surprised how he managed to get high grades with very minimal effort of study. My wife told my son’s teacher, “Oh, my husband is into personal development and writes about it in his blog.” The teacher even went further by visiting my Facebook profile down to my blog site. “I wish most of the parents should practice the same values as you did as parents to your son.” remarked the teacher. “I hope he continues to write in his blog”, she further added.
I personally went through with his test results and did a sign off for the first time. He got only a mistake and I asked him about his reason for his answer. The statement was “I return books from the library on due date.” He drew a sad face and told me that it was possible to return before the due date. I asked him if he did ever borrow a book from a library and told me he never had an experience. In my opinion he was partially right. In my experience, I returned most of the books in the library before the due date.
It gave me a sense of joy and fulfillment whenever I hear this kind of story. I had been away from my family for almost 5 years but I never missed the chance to communicate and be available as possible to my son and my wife. I am even more inspired to continue in my personal development journey. The more I grow as a person, the more benefits it brings to the people around me. This means I will continue to read daily to grow in my personal life. I will listen daily to broaden my perspective. I will think daily to apply what I learn. I will file a daily journal to preserve what I learn.
As I went through the other scores from his other subjects, they we’re not as closed as his score with the Values subject. I am sure he will be able to improve his other subjects with more practice. I actually went through with his mistakes in Mathematics, showed him the correct answers and the process of solving. I was surprised why his teacher never gave them the correct answers considering there were only 5 students in the class.
As I reflect and as I try to recall when I was at his age, I was never close to being at his level of his awareness. I had a different environment, my parents was not as passionate in the personal development. Nevertheless, I had no regrets and I am more thankful for the choices that I made and for the person that I become. I am also thankful for the values that my son had and also for the person he will become. I am also grateful to my wife for being so patient nurturing our son with love and affection in his studies.
One last advice that I want to share with you my co-parents, never miss a day to say “I Love You” to your loved ones. I would like to share also our Family Values that are worth fighting for.
Here are some of his scores from his Values Education subject.
Values-Education-Score-Justin-Daniel
Christian Life Seminar Singapore 2012
(click the image to enlarge)
No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what GOD has prepared for those who love HIM.
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Family Values worth fighting for
Family Values worth fighting for – Lessons Learned
Wishing You a Very Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!
Wishing You my friend and your family a Very Meaningful, Merry CHRISTmas and a Happy New Year!
Let us share God's love this holiday season.
Please allow me to sing a song for you.
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Music composed by Hugh Martin, lyrics by Ralph Blane
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.
Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams
Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams
We had another great night for Personal Excellence and Growth meetup about the topic “Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams”. Incidentally, while on my way to the event place, I managed to pass along a bookshop selling second hand books besides the
Mr. Patrick Yc Lim, event organizer and speaker, shared a story of Edmund Hillary, as being the first person together with a Sherpa mountaineer to reach the summit of
Patrick gave us an exercise and he laid down sets of 3D stickers of animals and insects such as whales, butterflies, dragonflies, bugs, etc. We were asked to pick one animal or insect and explained the reasons of our choice. I chose dolphin because it symbolized adventure, freedom and fun. It represents harmony with others with its strong communication skills. Dolphins easily adapt to a community and can be trustworthy.
The exercise taught us about life of making choices. Why did we choose and why we didn’t choose the other options. What were our motives in the selection process?
In life, we need to ask a question in making a choice. Is this activity will help me in moving towards my dreams and goals? Here’s a great guide that will help you in going the direction of your goals. Get a blank sheet of paper. Draw a horizontal line across the middle of the paper. Above the line, draw an upward arrow and write down Responsibility. Below the line is a downward arrow indicating blame, excuses, justify.
Your ability to respond is the key to every decision you take. Responsibility is about taking ownership of your choices. Their motto is: “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” When you do that, then you’re living above the line. The opposite is when you start the blame game. You blame the government, your parents or your friends from the poor results you made. You make an excuse about the traffic situation for coming late in a meeting. Others justify that they can’t become wealthy because they don’t have the right education. Did you notice any commonality among these? They are all telling a story, mostly of BS and full of crap. Be very careful with people who practiced this kind of behavior. Simply walk away from this kind of crowd.
Let us dig deeper and have a look about the input and output realities of our decision. What are the things needed to change our desired outcome. What determines an outcome is our behavior. It refers to the way a person behaves towards other people or other circumstances or events. A good motto is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” The behavior of a person is identified with an attitude. Our attitude determines what we see and how we handle our feelings. Say, if people think that smoking is bad for their health, then, they will quit. What determines an attitude is how you believe in yourself. Beliefs are the assumptions we create about ourselves. The clearer you are about what you believe and value, the happier and more effective you will be. A good sample of a belief system, success is not what you know; success is what you do with what you know. Most of our limitations we face in life are self imposed and created from our environment. Our thinking habits are generated from our parents, school, friends, and colleagues. The way we think is like computer software and we can reprogram the input. We can achieve this by reading books and learning from highly successful people. We see things in a different perspective.
Our choices will lead us to our desired goals if we follow the simple discipline of success. On the other hand, we drift away from our goals if we take the simple errors in judgment of failure.
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 2 of 2)
(Please read 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2 before you continue in case you have not)
- Unmask
A mask is a personality trait that you create and project to the world. Its purpose is to hide the real you. Masks are symbols of insecurity and self-doubt. They are often the result of someone’s expectations for someone else; it is generally at the expense of suppressing the real you.
“Time's glory is to calm contending kings, to unmask falsehood and bring truth to light.” - William Shakespeare
Remove the mask of someone else’s expectations and stop deceiving yourself. As long as the mask remains
- Have compassion
You must be sensitive to the needs of others and be willing to give assistance. As you progress along your success journey, you can acquire a greater sensitivity and a greater responsibility to the plight and condition of others. This human sensitivity puts you in harmony with your Creator, and elevates the quality of your own being.
All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives. - Dalai Lama
We have dominion over every living thing on the earth. Genesis
- Grow from your mistakes
No one has ever succeeded without making mistakes. I got some bruises and lots of fall off the bicycle when I was learning to ride. If you are making mistakes, at least you know that you are trying. Mistakes are life-lessons in wisdom.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein
Often, you learn more from your mistakes and failures than from your successes. You determine what works in a particular situation by learning what does not work and then trying again.
Let your mistakes, through intelligent analysis and corrective actions, become markers showing the way on your journey to improve your life. You can’t live long enough to make mistakes all by yourself. Be willing to listen and learn from the mistakes of other people.
- Acknowledge your weaknesses
Any weakness or personal shortcoming that is not acknowledged cannot be overcome. Refusing to accept your weaknesses can lead you to rationalization and self deception. You perpetuate that condition.
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses “- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Be Yourself
People who pretend to be someone or something other than themselves never discover who they really are. When you try to be someone else, you become separated from your true self, your energies are diluted and your personal magnetism is greatly diminished. When you are true to yourself, you are in harmony with yourself, with other people, and with the world around you.
I advised my 8 year old son, just be yourself at your very best all the time. He has been consistent being on the top of his class.
“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The moment you reject the growth principle of life, you accept the static principle of death. The only way to attain the good health, wealth, happiness, and prosperity you seek and deserve is to grow into these qualities and attributes. To maintain them, you must continue to grow in knowledge, understanding and consciousness.
Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. – Benjamin Franklin
Improving and developing your self-image into a positive is the best first step you can take on building the new you. It is upon your newly developed self-image that the foundation for the mansion of your dreams is built. If this foundation is based on doubt, fear, and negativity, your mansion cannot stand. But if it is built on truth, courage, compassion, self-confidence, love, and faith, your mansion stands on solid ground. It will stand forever.
“He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” – Luke 6:48
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 1 of 2
12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image (Part 1 of 2)
- Be Honest with Yourself.
This is the best gift you can give to yourself. How can people trust you if you are deceiving yourself? Pretending that everything is alright is one form of self deception. You are like a gardener who pretends that there are no weeds in the garden as he busies himself planting new flowers. One day he looks up from his planting and realizes that, in spite of all his efforts, the weeds have consumed his garden. When you are dishonest with yourself you destroy the possibilities for self growth and improvement. The weeds will consume your garden.
- Develop Your Imagination
“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” – Proverbs 29:18
Your imagination is the blueprint for your future reality. It is the first step in the creative process.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” – Albert Einstein
Develop your imagination by reading stimulating material. Meet up and get involved with exciting, successful people who can expand your realm of experience. Meditate regularly and engage in artistic endeavors. See more possibilities in every experience and every relationship.
If you can think it, you can do it. If you can visualize it, you can become it.
Once your vision – the thoughts about yourself and the world – is firmly crystallize in your imagination, it cannot fail to be realized.
“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” - Jamie Paolinetti
Where your imagination leads, your reality will follow
- Be able to relax
Relaxation is the key to stress reduction, and to mental and physical regeneration. Without the ability to relax on a regular basis, you can, in over time, become victim to accumulated stress. This accumulated stress can lower your energy level, impede your judgment, and actually cause physical illness. Simple tiredness can distract your efforts and change the outcomes you experience in your endeavors.
If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. – Herodotus (484 BC – 430 BC)
- Have that winning feeling
Everyone loves a winner.
The winning feeling is a strong positive attitude of accomplishment. It is reflected in the way you talk, your handshake, walk, act and even the way you dress. People are attracted to you when you have that winning feeling. Most people are quite willing to aid and assist to aid and assist you on your path to accomplishment.
“Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.” – Vince Lomabardi
- Cultivate Good Habits
Habits are actions or behavior patterns that become automatic over time, through frequent repetition and consistency. Good habits are those which induce positive cycles of good health, proper rest, a balanced diet, regular exercise, and right thinking. By developing good habits, you establish a harmonious relationship with all that’s good for you.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle
When you strip away all other excuses and explanations, where you are right now, whatever is going on in your life, positive or negative, is a direct result of your habits.
“First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.”
- Aim to be Happy.
Expect happiness and be happy.
Expect each day to be full of happiness. Always wear that cheerful smile whenever you meet people. Approach and experience each day from a perspective of happiness. Focus on the good and positive aspects of every moment. What you focus on, through faith, will happen. When you face each day with a great sense of anticipation and expectancy, you become magnetized for the object of your expectations.
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
(Please read the last part for the 12 Ways to Improve Your Self-Image part 2 of 2)
Short Prayer After Work
SHORT PRAYER AFTER WORK
Lord, as we now end our day’s work, we pray and thank you for this very wonderful day.
Thank you for having given us the patience and industry to work well, and for having directed our thoughts, words, and actions.
Forgive us Lord, for our misgiving as we forgive those who wronged us. Continue to give us wisdom to do good for others and for ourselves.
Lord, please continue to bless us, also our families tonight, and bring us together again tomorrow as we start another day.
All these things, Lord, we humbly pray in the name of your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.
Please see related topic – Short Prayer Before Work
Why Personal Development Blog?
- Direction – Before I just let the days passed by, but now I make sure to learn from the day. I’ve learned how to set goals and priorities in life to distinguish minor and major activities. It helped my personal responsibility to take charge of myself instead of engaging in petty discussion about whining, blaming, and excuses.
- Self-esteem – I’ve learned to love myself and feel good about myself. It gave me a sense of confidence to achieve things that I set my mind to. This is where I learned to shape my values, beliefs and philosophies.
- Association – it helped me connect to like minded positive people. The law of attraction really works as I was able to meet highly successful businessmen, entrepreneurs, best selling authors, and life coaches both offline and online. My attitude is greatly shaped from the influence and association of people with high levels of discipline and values. Get around people who have something of value to share with you.
- Relationship – Aside from a better relationship with myself, my relationship with my family and friends dramatically improved. I’ve been always consistent to say “I love you” to my wife and my son. You see, if I improved myself ten times, imagined how much will it affect my family and friends. It was so inspiring to hear from friends that I was able to help them with their lives. I tend to listen and be more interested than talking a lot.
- Discipline – I must say that this word bridges the gap between goals and accomplishment. A good example is a practice of a healthy lifestyle. I developed a conscious thought about the food that I eat, or a regular jog around the block, or an aerobic exercise in my room.
- Spiritual – Most of the personal development or motivational experts that I listened or read to, have a strong faith in God. They even used the bible in their teachings. What more, joining a religious community even increased my faith further.
- Integrity – I am still a learner in this field yet it is the most important of all values. Trust is based on integrity and being able to keep my word is a precious value. It holds all relationships together. Being open about one’s life leads to a trust based relationship.
I believe everyone should learn and practice personal development, our world will be of less chaos.
Personal Excellence and Growth – Success and Failure Formula
A New Headstart for the New Year! This is the topic of Personal Excellence and Growth meetup last January 2011 organized by the dynamic couple, Mr. Patrick Yc Lim and Ms. Jessica See.
Success purely depends on the choices we make in life. There are two choices that we can decide to do.
1. Simple Disciplines – these are small steps of action you take that will lead you closer to your goals. Some good examples are choosing to eat less carbohydrates or sweets in a day, reading a book 30 minutes a day, or a simple exercise 15 minutes a day. A few simple disciplines practiced everyday is the key formula for success. All disciplines affect each other since one discipline always lead to another discipline.
2. Simple Errors in Judgment – these are things that you do that will drift you further away from your goals. This is the opposite of simple discipline, the lack of discipline. A surefire formula of failure is a few errors in judgment repeated everyday.
First, let us define what is discipline. It means training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement. It also mean a: control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior or c: self-control
I remember a colleague who was on a diet plan. She told me she's not taking her lunch because she was on a diet. So everyday she was consistent on skipping her meal for a diet. Not until I saw her during an afternoon break, she was eating chocolate like a child. There was another colleague who was also on a diet by just eating few apples instead of the normal rice and meat meal. After more than a month, he was back to his comfort level of eating food. Here's another classic story that I've been hearing from most people I've talked to, I asked"Hey why are you eating that food (high cholesterol)? Most of the response sync each other, "Just once in a while (until it became once is a month or once in a week) and besides I am still young. " We've been living in the world of instant gratification against temporary inconvenience. These are deliberate acts of errors in judgment or simply the lack of discipline.
Here's a question worth pondering, how can we change the errors in judgment formula for failure into simple disciplines required in the formula of success? The answer is by making the future an important part of our philosophy and value system.
"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." – Jim Rohn
You got to live above the line. People who live below the line are fond of always blaming, making excuses and justifying their own failure or lack of success. People who live above the line are those who take responsibility of their own actions, whether it's a failure or success.
The results are almost immediate once you practiced a few simple disciplines everyday. Reading a book for 30 minutes to an hour a day had brought me positive results. It helped me refine my philosophies, increase my self esteem, improved my relationship by being a better father, husband and a friend. Whatever new discipline we begin to practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to become better at developing new disciplines.
Here' a classic Jim Rohn seminar about Formula for Success and Failure
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PS
If you’re looking for an environment of positive and personal development in your life then Personal Excellence and Growth meetup is place that will help you become the person you want to be. Its free of charge, no obligation. Bring your pen and paper to capture ideas for personal development.
Please read related articles.
How to Coach Yourself to Success
Achieving Your Goals and Dreams
Persuasive Communication – the Art of moving people through to action
